It was so simple, now that I think of it. There was a gap–I didn’t like doing chores, but I knew chores were important. Even though it took me more than thirty years of my life to realize this gap, it was pretty straightforward from this point on. Once I bridged the gap, I honestly grew to enjoy doing chores.
The progress went like this. One day, I lay down on my couch thinking “I don’t want to do the dishes. I don’t want to do laundry. I don’t want to vacuum.” At the same time, I found myself wanting these chores to be done. So there were these two things going on. On one hand, I did NOT want to do chores. On the other hand, I WANTED chores to be done.
I could have forced myself into doing chores, like “You are not Beyonce. You don’t have hired help. It’s YOU, or no one else to do the cleaning for you!” Fortunately I knew from experience these types of ‘should statements’ never work well. Instead, these should statements drive you further away from your goals because the pressure is so huge it stops you from moving forward.
I focused on the ‘wanting the chores done’ part. If I did want them done, it meant I knew there was something good behind them. A human wants what’s good for him. For example, you want nice food because it is good for your health. You want to talk to your best friend because you know talking to her will make you feel good. The opposites are also true. You don’t want to waste your money because you know it’s bad for your balance, or future. You don’t want to eat food that went bad, because you know it’s not good for your body. Obviously, you usually–cases of addiction should be discussed separately–want what’s good for you.
Then I realized one more thing. Sometimes I can be careless in thinking. Really, you don’t think carefully and just jump to conclusions. If you do that to humans, you make assumptions and cause unnecessary troubles. If you do that with your credit card, it’s likely that you become a hoarder and your house is filled with mess, not to mention getting bankrupt. Sometimes you get careless in thinking just one second and say something that hurts your loved ones. So it is a real problem. It seemed applicable to this chore-or-no-chores issue.
I thought very carefully about why chores are good for me. I discovered a few things.
- Chores make a clean house. I like my home clean. It makes me feel safe and comfortable.
- My husband does more chores than I do. I want to do chores so that I can take some load off of him.
- I admit, I have been not so good at it. But I want to improve. And I do see my chore skills improve every time. I like seeing my progress.
- Once I start doing it, I feel good for simply moving my body, like doing an exercise.
- Chores make a clean house, and a clean house gives me more freedom. For example, I can lie down on the floor without worrying about cat fur, if I vacuumed. Cooking is safer because I don’t have to look out for any fur flying around.
- It’s literally good for your health.
The list can go on, I’m sure.
How I began to like doing chores and got things organized. Rachel in Seoul 
How I began to like doing chores and got things organized. Rachel in Seoul 
How I began to like doing chores and got things organized. Rachel in Seoul 
How I began to like doing chores and got things organized. Rachel in Seoul 
How I began to like doing chores and got things organized. Rachel in Seoul
It was almost magical. Once I wrote these down, I stopped disliking chores. My hesitance, fear of seeing dirty things, unfounded worries, procrastination–everything just went away. Ever since, I cleaned the windows outside, toothbrushed mesh colanders, reorganized the closet, etc.. I even look forward to waking up the next morning so that I can do more.
Technically it’s not brainwashing, since you are not forcing a new thought onto yourself. it has always been there–you have felt the longing for clean floors, shiny glasses, so on. It’s about ACTUALLY thinking about what you want, and reiterating it. But the words ‘brain’ and ‘washing’ feel right. I feel thoughts got clearer, like they have been washed. So, I’m going to call it a brainwashing method.
If you want to try my brainwashing method, here are some tips for you.
- Think hard about why chores are good for you. Why do you want them done in your heart?
- Write down the reasons. It is very likely that you forget if you don’t write them down…
- Look at the list of reasons occasionally so you don’t forget. If you do affirmations, it’s a good idea to include some in your affirmation.
- Use technologies. Take advantage of a great invention called a robot vacuum. A dishwasher would be an angel. In fact, I heard a historian say women were able to have jobs outside home because this new technology of washer came to us. If you want, do research and invest in technology-based helpers.
Though I’m sharing my success story in brainwashing myself into liking chores, I do understand that there’s a right time for each person. If you consider this success story as me becoming a more responsible person, it makes more sense that there’s a right time for everyone. You don’t just grow to be responsible overnight. What’s desirable is beyond reality. Of coure you want to raise your children to be responsible, but I want to say that being responsible is not easy. It takes practice for many years. I say this because I wouldn’t want you to feel overwhelmed. Unless your dislike of chores is causing a serious health or ruining-your-future type of problem, I guess waiting for the right time is not that bad an idea. Though, I’d recommend bridging the gap, like I did. Good night:)